I love black thongs
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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