Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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