3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
