Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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