I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
