Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
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