There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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