before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
