Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
