I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Vodka?
Forever.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
