Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
