I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
