He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
i think i just lost a toe
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
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