What did we do last night that was yellow?
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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