Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
