That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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