you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
