drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
4 words: hood of his car
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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