Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
