Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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