so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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