people are starting to question the shark bite story
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
