he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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