What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
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