The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Randomize
