Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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