she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
i think i just lost a toe
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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