I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
