I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
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