im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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