Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures