so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city