I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
