i think i have two assholes
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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