how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
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I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
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casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
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