first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
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