his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
