Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
