Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
