this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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