btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
