i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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