it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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