i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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