My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
