I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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