this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
