yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
We had to coat check the pizza.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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