The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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