just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
