I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
