STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
