my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
