Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
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Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
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But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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