If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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