The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
