did you get engaged???
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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