Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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