Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
