No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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