tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
