You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
