I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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