sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
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