so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
